Positivity…it’s not negative, but it’s close to the edge.

I am drifting from this weird state of dread for the future, to this sweeping and sudden sensation of being in a different dimension in time. Perhaps it’s a parallel universe I am dipping my toes into. Like I would dip into a freezing cold stream on a hot day, retracting my foot back in startled dismay at a feeling so alien to me.

How do we stay positive when everything looks so bleak?

I have been unemployed since I moved back to UK from Greece in 2010.

20 months.

I miss the warmth of the sun on my face. Even when I was penniless (or centless should I say), I still felt positive.

There was a comforting hope in the rustle of the trees and the scent of night jasmine.

Now, the evenings are stark. They just allow me to rest, knowing that I do not have to job search or write statements about myself (I hate having to big myself up). I lay my head down knowing that I have to start again the next morning.

I can’t get out of bed.

Trying to start my own business was exciting, and I still love it. I am inspired on a daily basis. For that I am grateful. Sitting in my fiancee’s box room all day when we first met, forced me to slap some paint onto the pages of an old sketchbook. My love of colour and paints and tools for bringing my imagination alive was reborn.

Thank Goddess for that.

I hardly sell any of my work, but that’s not getting me down. There are people loving it. It may come into fruitation.

I know I need to stay positive, I need to voice my gratitude on a daily basis. I know all this. I make art to inspire and heal, so why can’t I use it myself?

I am 39. I would like a family. My fiancee is 35. We are both unemployed. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It’s hard to stay strong for both of us.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  ~Oscar Wilde,Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1893

I am this person. I have to be!

Free gift from me~ Motivational Journal for March 2012!

Click on the above link to download the Word Document right now
or get this motivational journal free by emailing me on:
serenajaneturner@yahoo.com
and I will send it as a Word document straight to your email inbox!
Each page has a daily focus where you can record what you intend to do that day or your personal goals and thoughts. There are some days where you can have your own focus, or key word, and on each page I have written a quote to inspire and motivate.
I hope you like it.
You can print out the whole document or just choose the days you prefer and print those. It’s totally up to you!
Here are the first three pages:
Blessings!

Being an Empath…some serious advice.

 

I don’t want to get in to trouble for posting this as these are NOT my words. The link to the site is:

http://www.askgrace.com/psychic-advice/0838-psychic-empathic-traits.htm

I just need to have this here so I can read back on it. I’m having a tough time. Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks Kerrilynn for your last comment, this is for you!

”Having psychic empathic traits can be extremely challenging, and even painful. The definition of empathic understanding is to be able to feel what another person feels (sometimes both emotionally and physically). Even under normal circumstances, having psychic empathic traits can be confusing and difficult to manage or understand, but in times of global chaos, emotional tidal waves that rip through the collective consciousness can be utterly overwhelming. This is why an empath feels anxiety at these times.

Some people consider being an empath to be a paranormal trait, but it is more normal than we realize. Many, many people have psychic empathic traits, but they are usually labeled as being “overly sensitive”. Empaths have a heightened sensitivity, and parapsychologists often refer to them as being “Psi Sensitives”.

Some of the characteristics of an empath include being “moody”, or having mood swings for no apparent reason. This is because empaths pick up on the energies and emotions from other people, places, animals, and even things around them. An empath can be feeling fine one moment, then suddenly become depressed or sad or angry, or even develop physical pain and headaches “out of the blue”. Many empaths can feel like they are going crazy, especially empathic children who cannot understand what they are feeling or why they are feeling that way. An empath must learn to trace these feelings back to their origin in order to determine what triggered them. First ask yourself, “Is this mine?” – if the answer is no, then determine when and where it started, and who or what was around you at that time.

Some other characteristics of an empath can involve extreme shyness, avoidance of public places, or being overweight (especially in children). These are all ways to try to shield and protect oneself from the psychic abilities of being empathic. An empath can absorb and take on the feelings and symptoms of others just by being near them or even by speaking with them on the phone, which is why an empath feels anxiety when faced with crowds of people.

There are different types of empaths who employ different psychic empathic traits. These are the 10 levels of the empath:

Psychometry – the empathic ability to receive energy, information and impressions from objects, photographs or places
Telepathy – the empathic ability to read people’s thoughts
Mediumship – the empathic ability to feel the presence and energies of spirits
Physical Healing – the empathic ability to feel other people’s physical symptoms in your own body (and often the ability to heal, transform or transmute them)
Emotional Healing – the empathic ability to feel another person’s emotions
Animal Communication – the empathic ability to hear, feel and communicate with animals
Nature – the empathic ability to read, feel and communicate with nature and with plants
Geomancy – the empathic ability to read the energy of places and of the land – geomancers can feel the energies of the Earth, such as Ley lines. They can also get headaches, pain or anxiety before earthquakes or other disasters occur anywhere on the planet.
Precognition – the empathic ability to feel when something important is about to happen (often this can be a feeling of inexplicable dread or doom)
Claircognizance or Knowing – the empathic ability to feel what needs to be done in any given circumstance, often accompanied by a feeling of peace and calm, even in the midst of a crisis

Psychic empathic traits not only involve the ability to receive energy, but also include the ability to heal in many cases. For this reason, an empath’s life path is best suited to the healing arts, whether it is in the field of healthcare or counseling, or working with children, plants, animals, or even healing places through design and renovation. There are many different paths for how to become an empathic energy healer – you just need to determine which characteristics and levels of an empath resonate with you most. When you have a positive outlet for the psychic abilities of being empathic, you can experience peace and fulfillment. This allows you to overcome the overwhelming feelings of why an empath feels anxiety.

Meditation can be helpful for anyone to achieve a state of peace, but what is even more important for those with psychic empathic traits is to maintain constant grounding and protection. You must visualize yourself surrounded by a bubble or blanket of white light that shields and protects you from external energies. If you are extremely sensitive, you may want to increase these boundaries of protection by imagining a rainbow of layers around you, starting with a bubble of red light surrounding your body, followed by a layer of orange light, then yellow around that, then green, then blue, then indigo, then a layer of violet light, and finally a layer of white light around them all. It is also important to envision yourself grounded and connected to the Earth so you can remain balanced, stable and secure. It is helpful to use the affirmation “I am willing to receive all that is for the highest and best good of all for me to know, and I am protected and shielded from all else at all times”.

Remember that those with psychic empathic traits are not only able to receive and pick up energy, but they can also project healing energy. The reason that empaths pick up on energy and information in the first place is because they have the power to do something about it.

One of the easiest methods for how to become an empathic energy healer is simply by using your intention. When you receive feelings from others, or even from the whole world, you can reverse the polarity and send out healing energy. Close your eyes, imagine that there is a vast sun above you that is sending down a beam of light into your heart and down into your hands. With all of your will and intent, send that light out from your heart and your hands, and direct it to wherever it needs to go for the highest and best good of all.

This is what will give you peace. The future is not set in stone and we are not victims. We have the gift of free will and the power to change, so we must not be afraid, even when it seems overwhelming.”

 

Absorption & my downward spiral (other people’s emotions)

Some people just breeze through their days, blissfully ignorant (or maybe just plain ‘not arsed in the slightest’) of other people’s emotional states. Me? No. I can’t, just CAN’T keep my positive head above water and get on with what I have to do. I know it sounds selfish, but please understand, it feels like I disappear, I kind of…evaporate as though I turn to dust. Immediately, as soon as I sense someone in my proximity feels bad, upset (or anything at all, quite frankly)…whatever I had been feeling PING! gone. Suddenly I am two people, me…or a strange, dislocated, out-of-the-body experience me…and this other person. They don’t even have to confide in me, I just GET it. Plonk.

I am in darkness, despair, a tunnel of never ending greyness…….I feel everything. I see images that do not belong to me. I imagine nightmare scenarios, the causes of these emotions, what has this person been through to have this hanging over them like an eternal rain cloud from hell?!

I can’t snap out of it. I walk around deep in this abyss of THEIR life….as if it’s mine. I talk to them,I try and make them feel better, I really do…but at the end of the day, (as well as being night) I feel worse than them. They know where the root of the distress came from. They were there when this repetitive torment started up. I wasn’t. I can’t switch it off. Because I don’t have the switch. They are laughing but I am still emotionally flailing.

I don’t like it. If I become that blissful ignorant or that ‘not arsed in the slightest’ then I become a bad human being. I don’t want that.

Feeling: scratched at from the inside. Irritable. I need peace ans space from other people’s vibes.
 Eating: Left overs…. tortilla with cold chicken, a few sprinkled sweet corns, humous and cheese
Drinking: tea. simple and comforting
Wearing: Leggings. Hippie smock. Comfortable.
Wanting: to be somewhere warm. I miss Greece and I’ve just heard from a friend of a friend who lives in my old neighbourhood. (Sniff.  )
Weather: It was lovely today. Aromas of Spring. But not as flavoursome as Greek Spring
Enjoying: thinking about the past….
Thinking: how we try so hard to be happy…do we have any control over our fates? Really?
 Needing: sun and peace
Listening: too many vibes and voices that are not mine
I so need to switch off……

New Painting for a set of Elemental Angel Oracle Cards~Part 2

Stage 3~ decoration: various stamps with ink, 3D paint, glitter glue, water soluble pencil crayons, watercolour paints.

This will be the front of the Water Element Card~ The Major Arcana

Stages 3, 4 & 5~ wings glued down, mermaid drawn on white tissue paper and stuck down, painted with watercolours, acrylic, metallic paint and glitter paint to ‘merge’ the separate collage pieces.

See the finished Water Element Card in part 3

Remembering…it was a strange, bitter sweet merge of comfort & loss…

Today we had 40 minutes to kill while waiting for the bus home. Not far away was the museum I used to work in when I was 18. I wanted to go in, I was interested as I hadn’t been inside there since then. I loved my two years there. I would wander round, sinking into history and lives of local people who lived in Victorian Scunthorpe. The skeleton in the grave was still in the entrance, the glass of which I would polish every weekend.

The building itself is very old, it has actual Victorian houses, the little terraced houses that workers lived in, probably 3 families per house, still inside the larger environment of the museum. Unmoved. Silent, low ceilings, cold stone walls. Musty smelling. I would stand there, absorbing the vibes, imagining the many many events that had past in those rooms. The deaths, the births. Happiness and sadness. It was the same, exactly the same today. The creaking floors, the damp coldness of silence. That feeling of being surrounded by ghosts. I wanted to stand there for hours, as I used to do. It was all a little too much however. 21 years ago. I was right there again, 18 years old. Too familiar yet too potent in the memories of being young. I walked out, sad and a bit low. I had absorbed the energy of that museum and its ghosts had stayed with me. For that I am glad. But I mourn my younger days……..

taste: fresh bread rolls
see: confused visions of past and present
smell: musty relics, wooden moth ridden tools
think: how time can go by so fast
feel: sad, nostalgic

hear: the creaks and moans of bygone days

See the museum at 0.26 seconds. As well as the long gone cinema that I used to go to. Trashed to the ground. not even rubble left there now…some empty plastic bottles and newspapers……………so sad.

Today it’s grey in a sleepless haze of devil’s play

hear: Fiance composing songs in his delirium of insomnia
read: The Sensualist by Barbara Hodgson

”Now in paperback, this potent mystery draws readers into a tangle of lost loves, vengeance, and murder. Set in the dark world of a European winter, and illuminated with Barbara Hodgson’s haunting illustrations, “The Sensualist” is a visual and literary exploration of the limitations of looking and the boundless power of seeing.”


taste: the need for something sweet….ginger nut biscuits
see: sun that explodes through the clouds and then cowers behind clouds of grey
smell: spring
think: how nature can heal
feel: unsettled. unbalanced. excited.